"I regret that you heard me say it"

Whenever one offers an apology those being apologized to should always be mindful of the motivation of the apologizer. People apologize for different reasons, some apologize because they understand they are wrong however there are those who only apologize because they have been caught. When one believes he or she is right in saying something or committing an act against another man or woman the apology offered for their actions is usually something like “I apologize that you were offended by what I said or did”. Not that they regret saying it, don’t believe it or believe it was wrong but they simply regret that you were offended by what they did or said. I have used this form of an apology and to the victim of my words or actions, they truly thought they were being apologized to, when all I really did was say to them, being offended is your problem, not mine and I do not apologize for what I said or did, however, I do apologize that you were offended by what I said or did.

In some instances when we offend others we offer a reason that in the mind of any sane person makes absolutely no sense at all; such is the case for Rush Limbaugh. On his radio show Rush Limbaugh called the young lady who was rapped by the Duke Lacrosse team (allegedly thus far) a “ho”. When questioned by a caller who appeared to be offended only because this woman was called a “ho” on a nationally syndicated program, Rush Limbaugh said he called the woman a “ho” because he was “running on fumes”. Being tired in the mind of Limbaugh is a good reason to call women he know very little about a “ho”. Limbaugh could have said he believed the young lady that was rapped (allegedly) was a “ho” because of her profession as an exotic dancer but that would have been too honest for Limbaugh so he simply said he said it because he was ruining on fumes.

His excuses does not stop there, he goes on to say “it was a terrible slip of the tongue”. There have been a few terrible slips of the tongue lately by white male talk show host about Black women. We are all familiar with the St Louis DJ that was fired for calling Condoleezza Rice a Coon, and then there is the radio show host who said Cynthia McKinney looks like a Ghetto Slut and Ghetto Trash for which he offers no apology. Limbaugh continuing his effort to try and lessen the fallout from his calling the young lady a “ho” said in his defense Keanu Reeves said something worse than he did about women. Yup, he pulled the ole look over there technique to cover up his own mistake and then stated he is not the worst offender. Remember this all makes sense to him.

Apologies as I noted above are offered for different reasons, and when one apologizes they usually have to say what they apologize for, anyone with children understand this concept. Parents do not allow their children to simply say “I am sorry”; if a child says “I am sorry” the parent normally says for what, and then the child is forced to say he or she is sorry for having done whatever they are apologizing for, most married men are familiar with this concept as well being that they are constantly apologizing to their spouses for doing something wrong. The reason why we ask the apoligizer to state what he or she is apoligizing for is to make sure he or she understands what it is he or she did that was wrong. And so we return back to Limbaugh who made it clear he does not apologize for calling this woman a “ho” when he said to his caller who confronted him about calling the woman a “ho” and demanded an apology; Limbaugh stated:

“I regret that you heard me say it”.